I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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