i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
