Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He shit in the fireplace
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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