Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
