Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
