Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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