your thong is hanging out like whoa
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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