Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
