Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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