why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
