You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
