YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
