I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
