also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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