I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
