the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
