problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
