There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
