I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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