Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
