Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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