he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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