she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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