You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
