4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
