the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
