FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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