Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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