Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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