Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
