I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
