just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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