I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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