Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
