it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
