How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
