your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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