I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And the cops told us we were all naked.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
