he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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