i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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