I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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