if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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