Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so that wasnt chicken after all
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
