Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
