You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
