I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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