he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
