No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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