Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My penis needs a shock collar
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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