She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
