This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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