Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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